I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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