Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
