everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
