I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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