I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
