Duck Duck Cougar?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
