Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
