yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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