do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
