I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
