I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
