Plan B is the new Plan A
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
