Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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