Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
