why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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