Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
nutella sex= disaster
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
