He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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