it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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