billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
