so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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