Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
