can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
