whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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