Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
