You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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