his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
