i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
