Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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