pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
