She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
