so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
