I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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