Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
There are leaves in my underwear?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
