He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Randomize
