Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
