Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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