Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
