YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
