i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
