I hope mine doesn't look like that
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
