Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
