i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
