Pappa wants mamma naked
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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