careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
