I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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