He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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