"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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