Dual....:-)
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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