as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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