Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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